zaterdag 22 maart 2014

Life in Vancouver - Chapter four

‘Being human’ can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
On some days we should all receive a medal for simply getting get out of bed
or a golden statue for making it through the day.
I too experience it sometimes, 
so I get it.

But then again… there’s also those days
in which I'm blown away
by the opposite side of the scale
where one piece of magic
simultaneously announces the next.

Thursday was one of those days for me.

It all started with… a crocodile.
Half a crocodile to be precise; he was missing a belly.
There was also a dog.
A smiling, jumping dog with big eyes.
They were birthed by clouds,
only meant to live a 'one-minute-life'.
But our eyes had scanned them
and our inner child came alive because of that.
To Mr. Crocodile and Mr. Dog;
your short lived lives were more than meaningful.

We sat on a bench at the park,
when my friend gave me his sunglasses.
They were big and black
with a fancy touch of gold on the side.
I felt like a celebrity.
Me… the Belgian celebrity,
undercover in Vancouver.
I could be that woman!
Correction; I was that woman.
My friend played along with me
and shape shifted into
my own private bodyguard.
He was pure perfection in the Land of Laughter.

We reached a crosswalk
and I caught myself skipping.
I had no idea what hit me,
but apparently ‘it’  had hit my friend as well
as he started dancing while crossing the street.
It was the funniest little dance I’d ever seen.
Hilarious. 


And just when I thought that it couldn’t get any better...
other people got involved.
Lots of other people.
It happened naturally…
almost accidentally.

But willingly and very playfully
we all ripped open our adult skin suits,
and unleashed our inner child.
Boundless freedom erupted in the air.

Laughter got shared
and so called ‘strangers’
became the
 high light in each other’s day.
All of us were brought together
to carve out that one moment of bliss.
Improvised bliss,
bound to be remembered.

On days like this...
meeting people for the first time
can be a very intimite and memorable experience.


 




 

 
 

donderdag 6 maart 2014

Life in Vancouver - Chapter three

Though writing is one of my greatest passions, I haven’t been writing for a while.
I have been busy… walking around in the dungeons of my mind, desperately looking for a torch or a flash light. Life can feel versy dense in the fantasy world of your mind.
At least in my experience…

The topic that kept me living in my mind for a while (start the drumrolls)...is...  ‘a visa’.
You see, Vancouver feels so good to me that I deeply desire to live here for a while. It’s hard to explain, but there’s something in the air that makes me want to stay.

Passion and intuition have brought me from Belgium to Vancouver six weeks ago. It happened almost effortlessly, the pulling was that strong. And so I guessed that the paperwork would be a piece of that same cake. But when life really seemed to start making sense… it changed all the rules…. again!  Damn expectations! ;-)  

This time, my expectations got crippled a couple of weeks ago when I had a rather scary experience at the border. In the flow of that, I didn’t feel safe anymore to speak my most innocent truth.  And suddenly it started to look very complicated to even get the ball rolling. I watched doors closing in front of my eyes and I got sent from one person to the next without making any progress whatsoever.  Anxiety and fear started to creep into my body. I felt big waves of emotions in the chest and pains in my back.  All of that plus the crazy chattering in my own mind, moved me into a time of “deep rest”; I was deeply focused on being still, breathing more profoundly, moving more slowly, consciously shifting my attention from the mind into the heart, mediating, singing, resting, doing pilates, talking walks, riding my bike, trying out my very first kirtan (mmm!)…  
Bottom line; I was having a retreat in my own inner spa while learning to love myself through circumstances that I wanted no part of.   I’ve sent uncountable “I love you’s” to my own heart and after a while I felt a crack in the cocoon. A new version of me was shining through, lighter and brighter than ever before.

‘Laughter’ was the straw that broke the camel’s back. In the midst of having a thirty-minutes-lasting-giggles with a dear friend,  I suddenly realized that I had forgotten to play!
 “Play” is my center.  “Play” is my haven, as it is my heaven on earth.
At that moment of insight, the cocoon said *crack*.
I decided to have fun with this, no matter what! To be able to do that, I had to let go of the attachment to desperately needing to stay in Vancouver. I can just as easily trust that Life will bring me wherever I need to be in order to crack my cocoon and shine at full capacity.  Wow, the freedom that comes with that perspective feels finger licking good!

That being said, it brings me to my brand new approach; I’m going to have some “serious fun” with this visa-adventure! No ‘forced fun’, no fear-based-fun, but genuine, innocent, childlike fun. That’s what feels the most relaxed in my body and what ultimately makes the most sense to me. This means that I’m going to do things that I normally would not do, because I would be too afraid to be rejected.  As I feel the excitement running through my veins, I know that my next steps will be fueled by passion, rooted in love and guided by pure honesty.


Might this be the shift from a game that I cannot win into a game that I cannot lose? 
The ravishing smell of freedom is reaching my nostrils, so who knows...  :-)
(That is of course if I don't need to unravel some more expectations. ;-) )

“If you had nothing to fear
and nothing to lose…
how would you act
and what would you choose?”
(Matt Kahn)

I’ll keep you posted! ;-)